


Desiderium

by Yunalystelle



Category: Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:33:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22227952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yunalystelle/pseuds/Yunalystelle
Summary: Yomiel sits at the grave where his beloved rests in peace and pours his heart out to her.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8





	Desiderium

**Author's Note:**

> Gift fic for temsikghosts, written for the Ghost Swap exchange, featuring oodles of Yomiel angst.

Dawn has arrived, bringing with it the chirping melody of birds in the treetops. The sun is slowly rising over the horizon, casting its pale morning light over the rows of gravestones. Yomiel weaves his way past them, his feet softly thumping over the well trodden grass. One hand clutches a bouquet of flowers while the other holds firmly onto the bag at his side. He stops still for a moment, his gaze scanning the cemetery. It takes a moment before he remembers exactly where he is going and then he sets off again toward his destination.

There it is. Her name, carved forever in that slab of stone, followed by two dates and a few words in commemoration. There are a handful of flowers lying before the gravestone, long wilted away. It doesn't look like anyone has visited her recently. Her parents lived abroad and she never had much of a social life. There had been nobody at her side when she grieved. Nobody to support her. Nobody to stop her from plunging into despair. 

Yomiel takes away the withered flowers and sets down the bouquet he brought. "Hello, Sissel. I'm sorry it's been so long since I last visited." He sits down before the grave and pops open the top of the bag. A few seconds later, a cat pokes its head out from the badge and utters a soft mew.

"I brought the other Sissel along as you can see." Yomiel reaches out to rub Sissel's head, smiling fondly at him. "He's very well behaved, and he's been a good friend to me over the past few years. I'm sure you would have liked him too."

Sissel had loved animals, even she didn't have a pet of her own. She had been such a gentle, sweet and kind woman, always happy and laughing. It was hard to believe that someone as cheerful as her could have fallen so hard, been driven to such despair that she felt there was no option but to take her life. That was how much she had loved him. She chose to be with him in death.

But he was still here, still walking this earth, denied the peace of death. In choosing to take her life, she had gone to a place that he couldn't follow.

"I wish I could come and see you more often, but it's too dangerous. As far as the world knows, I'm dead. If anyone was to recognize me, well, it wouldn't be good. I can't stay in this town. I can't visit all the places I used to. There are other people living in your house, you know? All your furniture, everything you owned, it's all just gone." Yomiel curls his hands into fists. "Everything that reminded me of you, erased, just like that."

Now all he has are the memories of her, and the single picture of the two of them he took from the house the day he found her. The memory is still so vivid in his mind that he can picture every little detail. He will never forget the sight of her prone body, skin as white as chalk, sprawled across the couch. On the cluttered coffee table, scattered with various clues to how she had taken her life, he found her last message to him. She had passed on with the belief that she would be seeing him again but that had been a huge mistake.

"Gods, I miss you so much." Yomiel gazes down at his lap, grinding his teeth. It feels like he really should be crying at this point but he can't, no matter how much he wants to. Even as he had clutched her dead body and screamed her name, the tears never came. This body is now nothing more than a sack of meat he can control like a puppet on strings. "I want to hold you, to bury my face in your hair, to hear your voice, your laugh..." His voice hitches in a sob. "I just want to be with you, Sissel."

Yomiel closes his eyes, hunching over with shaking shoulders. It's so painful, thinking about how he'll never see her again. The loneliness, the longing, he just can't bear it. He hears a mew and opens his eyes to see the cat in his lap. Yomiel smiles and hugs the cat to his chest, stroking his dark fur. It doesn't take long for Sissel to start purring.

"I keep going over to his house, over the phone line. I know I shouldn't be doing it. It's not healthy for me, is it? I hate it. I can't stand watching them. They all look so damn happy. Him, his wife, his kid... and that other man. How dare they. Those detectives have no right to be happy after what they did to us! It's just not fair. What about us? We weren't even allowed to continue our lives together. We could have been married by now, living in the same house together, but we were denied that future because of them. I just..." Yomiel clenches one hand into a tight fist. "I want to punish them. I know I shouldn't be thinking this way, but I do. I want them to know my pain, to feel it."

Yomiel looks up toward the cloudy sky. The birdsong has faded away and all he hears is the distant traffic. Not a single person has entered the cemetery, a fact he is thankful for. 

"I could do it. My powers have changed now. I've been practicing. Controlling adults is still a little tricky, but I think I could easily handle a child. Who knows? Maybe..." Yomiel trails off and shakes his head with a short laugh. "Part of me still can't believe I'm even thinking like this. I think you would be shocked too, Sissel. This isn't the man you loved. This... this bitter, vengeful man who would even think of hurting people. I know, it's not right. I shouldn't be thinking this way but I can't, I can't go on like this!" He hugs the cat a bit tighter, burying his face in his fur. "Every day, I'm losing a bit more of myself. All I can think about is making them pay. It's all their fault you're lying there in the ground right now."

That's right. It's their fault. Detective Jowd, Detective Cabanela, that little girl Lynne, they are responsible. They killed him and they killed the woman he loved. 

"Maybe I'll do it," Yomiel whispers. "I'll tear that happy family apart. I'll make Detective Jowd learn how it feels to lose the woman he loves." His mouth curves into a smile. "Yes, I think that's only fair, isn't it?"

After a minute, Yomiel breaks out into laughter, putting a hand over his face. "Oh gods, I'm really losing it, aren't I? I'm going crazy. I can't believe I'm actually thinking about murder. Just what is happening to me?"

Sissel shifts around and releases an annoyed sounding mew, causing Yomiel to realise he's holding him too tight. It's difficult to know with a body like this.

"Sorry, Sissel." Yomiel relaxes his hold and gently scratches Sissel's head. The cat's yellow eyes stare unblinkingly back at him. "I don't know what I would do without you." He lifts his gaze to the gravestone. "It's just so lonely without her, without anyone else. Everyone thinks I'm dead and I can't go back. I can never return to my old life. Especially not without her. If I could just go back to that day..." With a shake of the head, he breaks off. "But that's impossible, isn't it?"

Those days are far beyond his reach. No matter how much he wishes for it, they will never return. All that faces him is an eternity of complete and utter isolation. Yomiel heaves a sigh and takes a look around the cemetery. It is still as isolated as when he came.

"Well then, we should get going." Yomiel places Sissel inside the bag and gazes at the gravestone one more time with a sad smile. "I'd better be off. Can't be hanging around here too much, you know, being a dead man and all. I'll visit you again sometime soon. See you, Sissel."

Not for the first time, he briefly wonders if she can hear him right now. While the thought of their loved ones watching over them might bring comfort to some, it only makes Yomiel feel dread. He can't bear to think of Sissel up there knowing her efforts to be with him only pushed them further apart. It's too cruel. Better to think his words are going unheard.

And yet, he still feels the need to come to her grave and pour his heart out to her. It's something of a paradox, he thinks, just like his entire existence. A man trapped between life and death, dead and alive. 

With a heavy heart, Yomiel rises to his feet and walks away, his head hung low.


End file.
